How to Maintain Integrity

Self-responsibility 

Self-responsibility is the first characteristic I have in my mind. We're not talking about being responsible alone, doing your errands on time, submitting before the deadline, etc. I am talking about Self responsibility that you own your own body, mind and spirit. Your overall wellness falls under Self-responsibility. 

Integrity and Self Responsibility 

How can you have integrity, and how is Self-responsibility related to integrity? What is integrity? The Oxford dictionary defines it as the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness. Temptation is the umbrella of many things, such as choosing your crowd, engaging in gossip, your friends, your partner, or even how you want yourself to be. To avoid temptation, you must know your strengths and weaknesses, including your liability. By knowing your strengths and weaknesses, you can learn when to show your abilities and get help with your weaknesses properly. 

Analyze your personality

Suppose you're the type of person who's a people pleaser that you can't move on and sleep at night without having closure on someone through confrontation. Your weakness as a people pleaser that you want to give anything to everybody can also wreak havoc on you and someone else. How? 

When you start pretending to be someone you are not and are not happy with what you are doing to please others, your inner peace is shaking. Later you can develop lies, and even about yourself is unrecognizable. 

Let me ask you something. Are you that someone who's worrying about your image and what outside your circle thinks of you? Are you someone who can't be true to yourself because you see others above you, or do you hate them for no reason or make negative commentaries when you see someone you think is below you? If yes, then this can eventually wreak on your overall well-being. Even worse, if you have offspring, you can pass on the feeling of uncertainties and confusion to your children and on how they judge others. Yes, there will be rotten fruits outside, and the crowd you want to fit in with are fresh fruits, which is a no-brainer to decide, but you might want to pay attention to some other varieties such as quality type of fruits and not just fresh. It's human nature already to be judgmental when we see others not behaving as we do, so we tend to cancel them in our Culture because we instantly judge them without even trying to get to the core of the person. Maybe they are just happy and genuine to themselves, yet there's no venom with what they do. But deep inside, you have random thoughts running through your head asking yourself that you have done more than others and still other people get the attention than you do. 

Connecting within yourself

Maybe it's about time to learn to connect to yourself and study your personality positively on what makes you unique. Examining ourselves and discovering our capabilities help us to be more productive and rise above everything. Maintaining integrity is something you are passionate about and genuine about yourself and moral principles. 

Romans 2:1 says You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.

Confidence vs Boastfulness

Motherhood has taught me a lot, and still discovering a lot of wisdom when I talk with my daughter because she got in trouble with me.

 I told her that confidence doesn't mean you have to be rude or act as a prima donna to others just because you don't like them. 

Confidence

Confidence is you are proud of your values and have faith that you will do the right thing and make the right choices. Having confidence means you can do anything and everything without even comparing yourself with others or being rude. 

Boastfulness

Boastful, on the other hand, is you think you are better than anybody else, and you always look at others rather than your achievements. You set your bar low and will not make room for improvement because your bar is someone else's. Having a cocky attitude can lead to a lot of negativities. You may feel less confident, and you might make rash decisions by choosing the lousy crowd who have the same feelings as you. The worse thing that could happen is you start making bad decisions in life. 

Cancel Culture with prayer

I also told her not to fret if she finds a friend who began disliking her as not all people are for her, and friends come and go. She should maintain her integrity as some friends are only there for good times and not present at bad times. Some friends are there when they need something, and once you don't give a little inch after you give your all, they will start to dislike you. 

Friends with integrity

Some friends have integrity and may treasure her and stick with her no matter what; who takes the gut to tell her she is doing wrong but will help her to make it right. I told her that prayer is a powerful weapon, and no matter what happens, God will still lead her to good people and friends even if they all turn their backs on her, so she still maintains her integrity.

Mother and daughter talk

I have been telling my daughter what cruel things that can happen outside. Like gossiping, slander, phoney friends, harsh words said towards you. One time when I talked with her, I said that bullying could be through the tongue's power. I keep advising her to pray and stand in faith.

I explained to her that bullying doesn't happen at school only but everywhere. I told her how I get bullied even at my adult age through the tongue of people. Most of the time, people who don't have the same personality as I do misconstrue me and throw harsh words behind my back. The worst grapevine I learned was I am incapable of being a mother. The person who made that issue is recruiting others to misjudge me and cut me off as I sounded like a horrible person. My mental health condition is somehow a big issue for some. When they heard I tried to take antidepressant medication, they quickly concluded that I was suicidal and incapable and ended up as a person with schizophrenia. My daughter shed tears after hearing that I am not always perfect and strong. And I explained everything to her in an age-appropriate indeed. 

Ephesians 4:29 

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what helps build others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen

Humility

But then again, humility comes with integrity as well. Admitting you are wrong rather than justifying your wrongdoing is the most genuine way. As I said, it's human nature not to confess our sins, and we always explain our wrongdoing or blame others. In a Christian community, they always advise you to confess your sins and ask forgiveness. Maintaining integrity is a practice because it's always easy to get trapped with evil snares. After all, we are imperfect humans. I am not saying that I have done all these consistently, but I am doing my best to be a competent woman in the eyes of God. If you only focus on yourself and are faithful, you focus on God. The confidence God can give you is the most excellent to have concrete integrity. 

Proverbs 10:9-10

Those who walk in innocence walk with confidence, but those on crooked paths will be found out. Those who wink an eye bring trouble; those who speak foolishly are ruined.